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JOEY RAMONE
In the seventies and the eighties, when they were still together,
the Ramones were as ubiquitous and as constant as, say, the Catholic
Church or Starbucks.
Wherever and whenever you saw them - and, in all, there were 2,263
shows to see - the punk rock quartet from Forest Hills, New York
generally looked the same, and they generally sounded the same,
as well. This is not say that the Ramones did not eventually learn
to master their instruments (they did), or that they periodically
dabbled in some aural experimentation (they did that, too).
But, for most of the 22 years they were together, the Ramones were
an eternal counter-culture icon, which is - of course - a contradiction
in terms. Sid died, the Clash slipped into self-parody, and countless
other punk outfits came and went. But, for those of us who were
inevitably getting older, there would always be the Ramones - Tommy,
Johnny, Joey and Dee Dee, writing and playing three-minute (and
sometimes two-minute) bursts of pure pop genius. Imagine the early
Beach Boys with lots of distorted guitars, biker jackets and songs
about chainsaws, and you get the picture. That was the Ramones.
At the centre of all of that, at the centre of the ceaseless pop
music genius that produced 'Blitzkrieg Bop,' and 'Rock'n'Roll High
School' and 'Sheena Is A Punk Rocker,' was Joey Ramone. Arriving
in the world in May 1951 as Jeffrey Hyman, Joey - as he became known
- was tall enough to make the likes of Vince Carter look squat.
Onstage, he was always the same: face hidden behind an unsightly
bush of long black hair, eyes lost behind a pair of dark sunglasses.
He would stand there, feet splayed, with one hand gripping the microphone
and the other punching at the air, most often out of time to Tommy
Ramone's economical drum beat. Behind him, or to his side, Johnny
Ramone would slash at his Mosrite guitar, located somewhere in the
vicinity of his ankles - and Dee Dee Ramone would leap about, periodically
contributing bass lines.
Joey's voice was no finely-tuned instrument, which was precisely
why all of us adolescent misfits in suburban Calgary, Alberta loved
him so much. He was a punk; he was the first punk. His music was
not merely different from the coma-inducing arena rock that so many
others offered up (like Supertramp, like Fleetwood Mac, like KISS).
It was, in fact, a specific rejection of all of that. The Ramones'
sound was loud, and it was snotty, and it was about things we could
relate to - hanging out at Seven-Eleven, drinking slurpees, or getting
hassled by Led Zep goons at in high school corridors.
The Ramones eponymous first album was recorded, legend goes, for
about $6,000 (U.S.) in 1975, and was released in 1976 on the Sire
label, which later became home to the likes of Richard Hell and
the Voidoids, the Dead Boys and the Talking Heads. It contained
songs - sometimes very, very short songs - with titles like 'Beat
on the Brat,' 'I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend,' and their frenetic cover
of Chris Montez's 'Let's Dance.' On the album's black-and-white
cover, Tommy, Johnny, Joey and Dee Dee slouched against a brick
wall. Along with the biker's jackets that became their most enduring
symbol, they wore T-shirts and jeans with the knees worn through.
Me and my friends stared at that picture more than once, wordless:
there could hardly be a more conscious rejection of corporate rock'n'roll,
and what it had become, than that astounding photograph.
The first time I dropped the first Ramones LP onto my tinny turntable
in the basement of our southeast Calgary home, I could not believe
my ears: I could make out, barely, Joey's voice, yelping lyrics
that were alternately funny and angry. Along with that, a crescendo
of guitars and drums, ripping through three-chord riffs like a chainsaw.
(As if to drive home the point, one of the songs was titled, appropriately
enough, 'Chainsaw.') It was, and remains, one of the most wonderful
rock albums ever made.
The first Ramones record was what rock'n'roll had been meant to
be in the first place: simple, fast, loud, and calculated to irritate
your parents. It was, along the way, a kick in the slats of the
bloated corpse of the rock "business," which - circa 1976
- had become utterly disconnected from the lives of real kids.
After that album came out, everything changed for good. For instance,
when a British fashion impressario named Malcolm MacLaren spotted
the Ramones - around the time he was in the States, unsuccessfully
attempting to change the New York Dolls into a political statement
- he was, like everyone else, awestruck. MacLaren dashed back to
the U.K. to create another rock band, one that would that would
rely heavily upon the sound of Joey Ramones' band. The foursome
that MacLaren would manage was called the Sex Pistols.
But the Ramones weren't like the Pistols, at all. Where the Pistols
became proponents of anarchy and class-based nihilism, the Ramones
were rarely political. They figured their fans did not come to hear
a group of musicians lecture them about politics, and they were
right. (The most notable exception to this came much later: Joey's
angry take on Ronald Reagan's decision to visit a German cemetery
containing S.S. soldiers, which he called 'Bonzo Goes to Bitburg.')
The Pistols were also preoccupied with fashion, and their fans favoured
safety-pinned earlobes, and technicolour tresses. The Ramones, and
their fans, stuck with the biker jackets, T-shirts, jeans and tennis
shoes.
I saw the Ramones more times than I can count, in towns and cities
right across Canada. Their shows were typically attended by people
who were anything but typical: Pistols-style punks, metal heads,
art school types, skateboarders, university students and even honest-to-goodness
bikers. They would always play the same way: heads-down, straight-out
rock'n'roll. No chitchat between songs: just Joey occasionally mumbling
"thank you," and Dee Dee hollering "one-two-three-four"
before every tune (if the spirit moved him, he'd do the count-ins
in German, too). And then another sonic barrage, washing over you
like a wave of heat.
In 1980 or so, when all of us were hoping they would hit the big
time, and achieve the kind of commercial success they so clearly
deserved, I interviewed Joey Ramone for a music industry give-away
(they paid me with albums and tickets to shows). The resulting tape
is now long gone, lost somewhere on a move between Calgary, Vancouver,
Ottawa or Toronto.
But I remember, clearly, that no one at his record company had told
Joey Ramone that I would be calling him on his unlisted home number.
I offered to call back, but he cheerfully insisted that we proceed
with the interview.
Like the partisan I am known to be, in other ways, I was shamelessly
partisan about the Ramones during that interview. I remember that
I complained about how the music industry didn't give the Ramones
enough credit, and I complained how radio stations didn't play enough
hummable 45s like 'Sheena Is A Punk Rocker' (so much do I love that
song, in fact, that my wife and I later gave our border collie that
name, and all our friends can tell you it fits).
Joey Ramone, characteristically - and as he was to the end, I am
told, a victim of cancer at age 49 - was not bitter. Instead, he
was good-natured about the Ramones lack of commercial success, which
persisted until they finally broke up in 1996. "One of these
days, you know," he said in his Noo Yawk drawl. "One of
these days we may get lucky."
The lucky ones, as it turned out, were me and my friends, because
we got to have the Ramones. And Joey.
All contents copyright 2006 warrenkinsella.com.
No reproduction whatsoever, in any form, without permission.
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